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 Normally,
I try to avoid talking about weight loss—being an eating
disorders therapist, it can be a touchy subject. But lately
I’ve come to realize that there does exist what I believe
to be a balanced approach to losing a bit of extra weight
if you really need to for health reasons. How did I come to
this realization, you ask? Personal experience of course!
Turning 39 recently has brought with it much appreciated
wisdom, calmness, material comfort and settling comfortably
into myself—all of which I prayed and longed for in my
teens and twenties, and for which I am forever grateful. However,
the not-so-easy-to-deal-with aspects have included graying
hair, wrinkling skin, downward pointing breasts, and alas,
weight gain. All of these have come as a major shock as somehow,
I guess I had thought I would be immune to all of the side
effects of aging. But no, Mother Nature would have me learn
otherwise. And while I am working really hard at growing older
without plastic surgery, botox, or other toxic attempts to
extend my youthful appearance, the weight gain has been a
real doozy.
As it turns out, our metabolism slows down increasingly as
we age and thus, our ability to burn off excess fat. I have
never been obese and even at my heaviest, would be considered
‘average’ for a woman of my age, shape and height,
but the extra padding was getting in the way of my twisty-turny
poses in my three times a week hot yoga class and my clothes
weren’t looking as flattering as they used to.
Being an ardent anti-dieter and having had a history of a
severe eating disorder in the past, I decided there was no
way I was going to starve myself through a rigid food deprivation
regimen. Instead, over the past few months, I’ve really
worked on the emotional side of things—coming to terms
with the fact that I am, indeed, aging—and that my body
will naturally change its shape and size over the rest of
my life.
This is a hard pill to swallow in our shallow, thin-is-in
society, but a reality to which we must all succumb to someday
and which is totally natural and acceptable. Overall, I’ve
made a lot more peace with this fact and have come to accept
(for the most part) that I have traded a young, lean body
for the wise, calm and successful woman whom I have become,
which is something to be really proud of and grateful for.
Add to that, keeping up with daily moderate exercise. I love
and do Bikram’s hot yoga three times a week religiously…more
for the stress-busting and inner peace and calm it gives me
than for the calories burned. And I’ve tweaked my already
healthy diet a bit more in order to boost my metabolism and
achieve overall good health. I am aware that the goal is not
to be skinny (my body isn’t made to be skinny no matter how
hard I may try), but instead, to try and stay at my set-point
weight, where I look and feel my best. This set-point changes
over the course of our lives as our bodies change so make
sure it’s realistic for your current age and body type.
It’s taken me about four months to lose the excess weight
I had put on, and I now fit into my clothes the way I did
before I gained that extra weight and it feels really good.
Slow and steady like the good ‘ol turtle does the trick.
And there has been no obsessing, calorie-counting, or beating
myself up along the way. I really feel now that the fact that
I truly love myself and mostly accept who I am and the body
I have now have made a huge difference. Perhaps there is an
easier, softer and gentler way after all…
Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the
author of It's
Not About the Food: A Woman's Guide To Making Peace with Food
and Our Bodies and Dump
That Chump, and What
Your Mama Can't or Won't Teach You. Check out her
free monthly e-zine, Women's
Community Counselor, to uplift and inspire women.
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