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Lauren
Cassel Brownell is a freelance writer and author of the
book Zen and the Art of Housekeeping: The Path to Finding
Meaning in Your Cleaning. She lives in Jacksonville, Florida,
with her husband and two children.
 Media
Psychology is a relatively new field that studies the impact
that media has on our behavior. With new technologies appearing
almost daily and media usage at an all time high, this concept
has never been more important. As the mother of two young
children, I am feeling the impact of our ever-expanding media
influence most in my role as a mother, which is why I wanted
to take on a new role….that of Media Psychology Mom.
Understanding media used to be straightforward. Media is
defined as a means of communication that reaches and influences
people widely. Radio, television and newspapers—the media
that we grew up with—are now considered traditional media.
Cable television entered the mix and greatly influenced our
television viewing habits and also complicated what parents
needed to monitor. But ultimately, it was still pretty simple.
You could unplug the television, block pay per view channels
and cancel MTV with its racy music videos.
But the media landscape has become very crowded as of late.
And while the power of traditional media is still strongly
felt in our society and worthy of study, it is the new mediums
that are the most impactful on our children. This “new
media” consists of digital, computerized and networked
information and communication technologies.
A friend of mine recently attended orientation for parents
of new high school students and was informed that if she didn’t
already have a Facebook, Myspace and/or Twitter account, that
she was probably already so far behind her teenage son in
his use of new media that she would probably never catch up.
It is a school mandate that my 4th grade son have his own
laptop. Half the children that ride the school bus with my
daughter have cell phones. What is going on around here?
Access to all the different technological gadgets and programs
available today requires that we, as parents, make an entirely
new set of rules. We used to make and enforce curfews and
warn our children not to talk to strangers. Now we have to
forbid our children to text at the dinner table, and consider
how often they can use their cell phones when grounded. And
as for strangers? That is one of the scariest aspects of this
technological age-the access that strangers have to information
about our children. It is indeed a whole new world.
So what’s a parent to do? You must be active and involved
in the lives of your children. You must be vigilant and you
must be educated. The tips below may seem like they are only
appropriate for older children, but trust me on this…Even
children as young as kindergarten age are amazingly tech savvy
these days. Begin the discussion of responsible technology
usage with them early. Here are a few tips to keep you in
control of the media that your children use:
- Set up your own accounts on social networking sites. It
is not okay to say “I just don’t get it.”
You need to understand these applications and speak the
“language” that your children use to speak about
and on these sites. Most are free and you can set up an
account for yourself in a matter of minutes. Then explore
a little and surf around the sites.
- Once your accounts are set up, ask your children what
they like about them, why they “follow” certain
people on Twitter or choose certain people to befriend on
Facebook. Share with them interesting things you found or
people you think are worth keeping up with. This will serve
a dual purpose. It will let your children know that you
are up to date on this trend and it will also open up an
entire new topic for discussion. Try not to judge (unless
absolutely necessary) at this point. You are trying to open
the lines of communication, not nullify them.
- Insist that your children provide you with usernames
and passwords for their accounts. Log onto their accounts
on a regular basis and see what topics are being discussed.
Click on friends’ pages, pages of parents that your
children spend time with, etc. You will quickly be able
to determine if there are trouble spots and you can address
them head on. Your children may see this as an invasion
of their privacy, but reassure them that your concern is
their safety and that you respect them.
- Declare tech free family days. And stick to it yourself!
If you declare a tech-free day then you can not check e-mail
or respond to your blackberry every time it buzzes.
- Continue to encourage healthy activities and outdoor time
for your children.
- Don’t fall into a pattern of non-communication with
your children. Children everywhere seem to have their noses
buried in their cell phones these days texting away. Limit
texting time and make clear that there are times that it
is inappropriate (such as at the dinner table). Use texting
capabilities to your advantage by insisting that it be a
primary way that you can keep in touch with them. And surprise
them every once in awhile. Send them a text just to let
them know that you love them and are proud of them. They
will claim it is horribly embarrassing, but they will actually
be glad to know you care.
As Media Psychology Mom, I want to serve as a resource for
parents and foster an open discussion of media’s (both
new and traditional) impact. It is a fascinating topic and
one that is changing the way that we all work, play, live,
love, laugh and, of course, parent. I hope you will join the
conversation with me.
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