Relationship expert
Elisabeth Fayt is the author of Paving it Forward. Find out
more about her here.
 These
days, people spend more time choosing what they’re going
to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they’ll
connect with people. Here’s a method of conscious intention
to lay the foundation for a life of love.
1. Pre-Pave Your Day. Every thought you think paves
your next experience, beginning with your first thought of
the day. Start each day by Pre-Paving with this thought: “I
will deeply connect with people today.” Continue consciously
paving the day with positive Pre-Paves and watch how your
relationship deepens.
2. Expect the best. You can teach people how to treat
you by expecting the best. Your expectations become your intentions.
When you expect them to be kind, respectful and supportive,
that is what you will find. Pre-Pave: “I expect the best.
My partner is helpful, loving and kind.” Always speak
highly of your partner because what you are saying, you are
creating.
3. Whatever you want, give it first. Often when we
don’t receive something, out of desperation, we pull
back and stop giving it ourselves. Instead, when you want
love, give it. When you want communication, communicate! Whatever
you want, give it first, and you will find it coming back
to you in spades. Make a list of the things you want from
your partner, then Pre-Pave: “I focus on giving these
the things I want.”
4. Be romantic. Romance is a verb not a noun. It is
something you do, not get. Instead of waiting for your partner
to be romantic, take the reins and be romantic yourself. The
results are immediate! Pre-pave: “My life is full of
romance”—then get busy providing it.
5. Speak up. Tell your partner how amazing they are.
If you don’t write your lines in their mind, they’ll
write them for you. If left to their own devices, chances
are their mind will turn to the dark side. We all need encouragement.
Reassure them daily of the things you admire about them and
add the Pre-Pave: “I am so proud of you.” They will
become what you think of them.
6. Make date-night a positive experience. Before going
out on a date, visualize how you want to feel and what you
want to experience. Pre-Pave: “We’re going to have
a great time tonight.” It will affect the outcome! You’ll
line up the evening for whatever you’ve Pre-Paved.
7. Be more in love every day. Love is a choice. Choose
to have your love grow, by telling your partner “I love
you more today.” Don’t miss a day. Then look for
reasons to love them more. What you look for, you will find,
and with this Pre-Pave, your love for them will expand.
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