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How’s it going with attracting all the goodies you desire by focusing your thoughts and gratitude vibes? Not as quick and easy at it sounds? Welcome to the authentic human club. It’s great that things like “The Secret” have more people curious about focused, positive intentions. I’m a big fan of the law of attraction. However, we’re selling ourselves short if we don’t understand this principle within a richer context.

Good news: there’s a deeper secret that’s not broadcast on TV or selling like hotcakes. Imagine being invited to meet your magic genie in a grand warehouse. Granting you access to all of the wealth and power in the universe, he asks, “What do you really want?” What if you pointed to a laptop, saying, “That one, with the custom color and extra software.” You could have inherited so much more.

What’s the secret under “The Secret”? There’s a supply of infinite fulfillment and joy available to each and every one of us that won’t ever be found through focusing our thoughts on what our small selves crave and manifesting cool cars or higher salaries. There’s nothing wrong with material gain. It just isn’t the path to true fulfillment or what we need to amplify in the world today.

The first part of the secret under the secret is knowing “who you are” when you set intentions or align your vibration with what you want. In a Gilligan’s Island episode, Gilligan is in position to gain a huge sum of money. The skipper asks him what he’d love to do with this amazing opportunity. “A skateboard and ten pounds of licorice!” Gilligan replies.

“Hey, little buddy, you need to think bigger,” Skipper says. Gilligan tries again. “OK, a fleet of skateboards and twenty pounds of licorice!”

Of course you’re way more sophisticated. Still, we all have some degree of Gilligan consciousness. We have self-imposed limits about what’s possible, influenced by decades of conditioning. Mostly, we have egos cleverly trying to run the show. So how do we transcend our inner Gilligan and have a chance of experiencing true abundance?

Your highest joy and prosperity is not achieved by getting everything you desire.
Your highest joy and prosperity is experienced through letting go.

Rather than starting with “I want to get my way,” we need to align our vibration with “Let me get out of the way” to allow for a higher good to come through.

Something more powerful, wise and loving than my ego knows what I am meant to experience-for my higher good, and the higher good for all.

Notice I didn’t say “something more powerful than me knows…” That would separate me from my source. It skews toward an “old story” relationship with an authoritarian God in a white robe, judging whether I’m a good girl or not, granting wishes or not. (That sort of wishing should be reserved for a different guy who wears a red suit and says “ho-ho-ho.”)

I did say something more powerful, wise and loving than my ego. You and I can align with a higher truth—that we are one with that greater source. We are all one with each other. We are one with God. (If “God” doesn’t feel right for you, please substitute higher power, great wisdom or whatever language works for you.) This isn’t exactly the hot topic on talk shows, so it’s easy to forget to live fully from that place each day.

Our culture promotes the authority of ego much more than encouraging us to have our souls direct our lives. Our egos try to create “the kingdom” by manifesting skateboards (cars and career titles) and licorice (sweet lifestyle comforts). Our souls whisper to us ways to find a deeper treasure—to trust that you are well-held by a loving source and to guide you to be a source of good for the world. So, here’s our amazing opportunity—to awaken soul in ourselves and each other more or let our egos seduce us. What will you choose, little buddy? I laugh while noticing where I fall on a Gilligan to Gandhi scale. We need to be kind to ourselves, while being a work in progress.

There’s a freedom in letting go of “what I want” and “figuring out how.” We can allow an inspired vision to come in, and then flow with relevant action. Feeling a bit pressured about speaking outreach for an Inspired Leadership Wake Up tour, I went for a walk and declared “If and when I’m meant to share this message…It’s in your hands, God!” Within moments e-mails arrived, inviting me to speak at a college and professional conference. If I’ve learned anything in decades of seeking and coaching many lives since ‘96, it’s this: You won’t find joy by mostly focusing on what you want to get. True joy comes from allowing Spirit to inspire and express through you.

My soul calls me toward more emphasis on love thy neighbor. I just read that the death toll of Iraqi citizens is 670,000 and the blood shed continues. So, when I have a choice to ask the universe for something, I don’t want to waste my wish, you know? I don’t mean to preach or make us feel bad about wanting things. I live in a very comfy home and will buy a new pair of shoes soon. However, if we all work toward letting our souls guide us more, we can each find ways to contribute to a world where we don’t keep reading statistics like that.

Try this with me: Before you declare an intention or choose what to manifest-pause and check in. “Am I coming from ego or aligned with my higher truth? Personality or Soul?” It’s great to use the law of attraction for personal desires and dreams. Enjoy the laptop. Just be aware of going deeper and higher to feed your real hunger. In our instant-gratification society, we want to buy into a secret that tells us to just Ask. A richer, more sustainable abundance is found if we start with Listening.

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